4 years and 8 months....

The title refers to the amount of time that I nursed my 2 kids. Wow, seems crazy! There was a break in between them when I didn't nurse about 6 months while I was preggers with Emma. I'm so glad that I got to experience this with both of my kids, its such a wonderful thing, not for everyone I know, but for me it was the best. Aidan decided to stop nursing on his own when I was a few months pregnant, not sure if it was because the milk started tasting different which some say happens or if he was just ready to stop.

Emma is a whole nother story....I thought she would do the same as her brother and just stop on her own. I did the same things I did with Aidan, stopped pumping at a year and introducing whole milk and only nurse some in the mornings and night and for comfort when needed since I work full time I couldn't nurse during the day. The first year and a half of Emma's life goes by still nursing, I was fine with that, even though by the time she turned 2 I got a lot of questions from others, when are you going to stop nursing her, etc. The typical stuff others say when it is starting to make them uncomfortable. The one thing I can say that made me feel the most comfort through nursing Emma for so long was my sister. She is still nursing Carter and has always had the best outlook when it comes to breastfeeding and I love her for that. One of her best come backs from someone asking her the "how long are you going to nurse him?" was "maybe about another 30 minutes or so." Love that!

I have been going back and forth about stopping for the past few months. I found myself getting agitated when nursing was taking longer than normal and I realized I was ready to stop even if she wasn't. I was hoping she was going to make that decision, not me. The only time Emma was nursing was mainly when I got home from work we had our snuggle time and occasionally in the mornings but if we were at home on the weekends it was on and off all day. I had someone ask me if they thought I was still producing milk since I didn't nurse that often and I discovered later that I most definitely was as she stopped one evening and had milk on her lip. Yup, still got milk. ha!

I thought weaning her would be easy, but it hasn't been. I have even been away from her for a few days to come back and that is the first thing she wanted to do when she saw me. I had been emotionally done several months ago, but was struggling b/c Emma didn't want to stop and would have the worst tantrums if I said no. So, I made a decision a week ago to use one of the ideas another nursing mom had used...I put bandaids on my boobs and told Emma I had boo boos and there was no more milk. It was very sad to see her get upset, but I didn't see an end in sight and was ready to stop. The funny thing was she didn't have her usual tantrum, but instead comforted me and kissed my boo boos and we snuggled and I held her for the longest time. Of course the next day she asked me about my boo boos and wanted to see them and after I showed them to her again she started pouting and wanted me to hold her and then she was fine. It has been 9 days since I have nursed her and she still asks me everyday if I still have boo boos, but she doesn't cry about it, but pouts for a bit and as long as I comfort her and hold her for a while she is okay. I'm glad to still have our snuggle time as I was afraid that would end as well.

The one thing that has changed as well this week is that she is sleeping so much better, ahhh! I am finally getting some much needed sleep too! I never thought this would be such a hard stage to end, probably because we don't plan on having any more kids, so she is my baby, my baby that will turn 3 years old in 3 1/2 months....