Aidan's trip to the Dentist

Today, I took Aidan to the dentist, this was his second trip, well really his third. The first time he went with me when I had a cleaning just to observe and did really well he was very curious of all of the instruments and sat in my lap for part of the time. The second visit was right after he turned 3 and we went back to my dentist and he got his teeth cleaned and did really well and was surprisingly cooperative. I recently decided to try to take him to a pediatric dentist mainly b/c they are trained specifically on children's teeth and the office setting I knew would be more inviting. He did well again and was very cooperative, they commented on how well he was doing esp. at his age, they have a lot at this age that do not do very well. He did so well they decided to do xrays of his teeth, he did not complain but I was watching him the whole time and could tell he was starting not to like it. The last xray they did he gagged a little and I could see his eyes getting watery but he didn't complain, such a big boy. Now the bad news, he has cavities, four tiny spots on his back molars, 2 I could barely see on the xray, but the other 2 I could see the dark spot that had gone through the enamel. On both sides his back molars which they said he will have until around the age of 10 are very close together and both have divits in them which makes him very susceptable to cavities b/c of the build of of bacteria if not cleaned properly. Which means we have to start flossing teeth, ugh! Now we have to decide whether or not we will make 2 separate appts. using nitrous oxide since they have to work on both sides they don't want to have his whole mouth numb and be awake at the same time b/c he will be more likely to bite the inside of his cheeks or his lips. The other option is to make one visit where they sedate him and take care of everything at once and he will come out not remembering anything. The last one seems like the better option to me even though its more expensive, but then there are concerns sedating him to, even though the dentist said he was a good candiate for that as well as nitrous oxide. My fear if we go with the laughing gas option is that we take him in for his first appt. and then he feels the pain or doesn't like the numbness feeling and then by the time he has to come back for the second one he wont be willing to cooperate. I just don't want to start the fear of the dentist at this early of an age, poor thing. So, today I'm feeling a little sad, like I have failed at my job as a parent, mainly b/c I know we could do so much better at brushing his teeth 2x a day and have not been perfect by any means, we get them brushed but there are times when he falls asleep before we get the chance to do so or I'm rushing out the door in the mornings and just forget to get both of their teeth brushed. This cold, rainy day isn't helping either! I also wasn't prepared for the cost of cavities, even though my insurance pays 80%, that other 20% can add up. and why don't insurance companies pay for nitrous oxide or sedation?! Esp. for children don't they think they need to not experience any pain? The dental hygentist told me most insurance companies don't deam it necessary. I think it is necessary in a 3 year old! The last thing I want him to experience is this kind of pain, which makes me want to cry b/c I feel like b/t Chris and myself its our fault this happened, even though the dental hygentist told me that some children even with great brushing are going to get cavities. I was one of those myself, I can't even tell you how many fillings I have, where Chris has hardly any cavities or he might not have any. So, from now on even if he screams and cries and we have to hold him down he is getting those teeth of his cleaned and flossed 2 x a day, ditto with Emma. She likes to play with the tooth brush and lets me brush them for a bit, but now she is going to get the same type of brushing that he gets morning and night.